Normally, when I need coffee, I'll make it at home. It's there, so I don't have to waste gas, and my mom practically has an I.V. drip of the stuff running through her arm, so we have plenty. Today, though, feels like one of those days worth driving up Richmond Hwy, pulling out my Starbucks gift card, and getting some over priced coffee that's either too bitter, or doesn't even taste like it's namesake.
Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because I have to redo all the invoicing today, plus enter in the rest that I didn't finish yesterday. Maybe it's so that I can avoid being in the house with dad (who is currently withdrawing from Adderall because they haven't refilled the scripts). Or maybe it's just a premonition that today could prove fatal for my mental state. I just don't know. What I do know is this: That icon is my representative while I'm doing invoicing.

It doesn't feel like Christmas for me. The only time it felt right listening to the music and watching the cartoons was when I was Rachel's house (love ya Rachel)

Mom wants to delay Christmas. When we were younger my family would start early like any family with young children. As the years went by it started later and later but that was ok because we were older. The year before last we didn't get to opening gifts until 10 that night and last year we actually delayed it a few days.
Don't get me wrong, the gifts are nice and all, but what I really want is for the family to be together. But we can't even pull that off any other day without arguing or someone being upset.
I understand that mom's in pain and what-not, but she's almost 50. Plenty old enough to understand her limits and to know that she needs to start doing things sooner if she wants them done on time.

With all this going on with mom, I can't even be in the same room with dad without him complaining or rolling his eyes or putting his finger to his head like he wants to shoot himself.
At least he wants to celebrate on the right day "even if it takes until midnight"

And that christmas eve/holliday thing we usually do? Nah. Dad's just gonna put out the food and whoever wants to show up can show up, so he's not inviting anyone. Theo's got his family and has to take his dog and his girlfriends dog, Crystal's only gonna be able to show up for a bit, and I don't know if my cousin Chris is gonna bother. I'll call up Rachel, but I don't know what we'll do.

Sorry. I know the last thing you want is to read a rant on Christmas eve. I wish I had happiness to post.
I think I'll put in the Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas movie. Maybe that'll help.

I'm trying not to cry or panic or both. I can't find my iPod! I had it with me while getting things to the car for the baby shower, but now I can't find it! *whimper*

Ok, you know that wedding I was talking about? Well I'm finally posting pictures. The rest are on Photobucket s2.photobucket.com/albums/y43/DriftingWitch/Wedding/

( It kills your comp )

I didn't get to posting the next part of the wedding, but basicly, we missed the wedding, stayed for the reception, and I took lots of pictures. I'm getting sick of looking at them but I don't want to post the really blurry ones and I don't think you guys want your friends page eaten by pictures. I took pictures of all the flowers in the garden so most of those will be posted in DeviantArt (DriftingTaintedSoul) some might be crossPosted. Whatever.
I'm sure there's some other stuff, but I really don't feel like it right now.
Pictures will be posted...eventually

After the 'rehersal' and dinner I came back to the room, watched CSI: Miami and Criminal Minds, munched on some junk food, and crashed around midnight. I actually slept thru the night (hadn't really slept the night before) and woke up around 8 (Rachel, I'm scared!) My second attempt at coffee faired better results, but I had to wander to the breakfast area to stock up on sugar packets. Why am I tired?
The rehersal wasn't. Plain and simple. It was more like skimming over what we were going to do, "you stand here, you stand here, the preacher will stand here, you walk down here". We did it twice and lingered until dinner. I was bored and out of my element. It wasn't even that I didn't know these people, but that I was older than the young and younger than the old. I was the only person in my age group and had no one to talk to. I was smiling out of politeness and the groom's mom said "you have a very lovely Mona Lisa Smile". I said thankyou and that's about it.
At least I know what I'm supposed to do now. One of the bridesmaids isn't there, so there are 3 guys and 2 chicks. I get to ninja myself behind them so that my dad won't be walking alone back down the isle.

Since my dad's going to be making a toast (he is the Best Man, after all) I'm gonna have to take my laptop to his room so he can try to find ideas for what to say. I, on the other hand, will be wrapping the wedding gift. I'll think of this as warmup for christmas package wrapping (Oh Joy! /sarcasum)

After a 9 hour car trip, three naps, 1 rest stop, who knows how much spacing out, I'm sitting here at a desk in my hotel room! King size bed, coffee maker (the coffee here sucks so I'll probably pick some up later), TV, free internet, microwave, fridge, iron, hair dryer. I'm as happy as I can be for not knowing what the rehersal has in store for me. I've been awake sinse 10 yesterday morning and I'm afraid if I take a nap I won't be able to wake up. I'm gonna go grab a vault from the vending machine before heading off to shower, because, ya know, 9 hours in a truck that my dad and Michael use for their work, it's kinda nasty. I swear I showered yesterday and my hair looks like I poured some crisco over it.
And just so you know, the radio here in south carolina kinda sucks. It's all country so far as I can tell. Yay iPod and YouTube...and my million other music players I have.

The wedding's on Saturday but we'll be leaving tomorrow around 5 or 6 in the morning. Can you say 9 hour road trip? I have everything packed except for what I'll be wearing tomorrow and a few other things. My dad got a suite with a connecting room so that's gonna be cool. If I get annoyed with him I can just close and lock the door XD. I doubt I'll sleep tomorrow night. I'm so comfortable on my futon, it's going to feel awkward sleeping on a actual bed.
Seem's I'll be taking part in the ceremony, so now I have to go to the rehersal instead of hangingout in the hotel room (boring -_- but at least we won't have to pay for dinner). I didn't find out until today. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing. Um, yea... thanks for the warning? What could I possibly be there for, flower girl? XP Dad said something about my part being at the end. This cat is curious.
Oh, I actually got a dress...and a purse...and shoes with heals O_o I'm gonna look like a girl! Freaky. I'll have people take pictures. If you're lucky, I might even post them.
Crap. I have to look for food again. *pout* I don't wanna be hungry. There's nothing to eat here.

I'll have internet too, I think, so I'm bringing my laptop with me.

My dad's going to be best man at a wedding (on the 27th) of an old family friend and he invited me to come with him. Normaly he'd ask mom, but we all know she'd just wait until last minuet to go AWOL. So I'm going instead, because really, nobody want's to be alone in a place where they barely know anybody.
I have one question though: What the bloody hell do you wear to a wedding? Any and all advice welcome.
(I almost wish I were a guy so I could just put on slacks, a button up shirt, and a tie.)

I did it! I'm tired as all hell but I did it! I have raised $1,800 dollars and I will be walking for breast cancer tomorrow! Now I just need to get everything together.

Ok, so I feel the need to post something not ranty. Lets talk about the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer! Don't want to? Too bad. XP

Anyway, in case I don't tell him this or he reads this first: Theo! *glomp* You totally rule! Thank you soooo much for the donation! You have no idea how happy that made me.

So yes, I am still walking. I may not have reached the minimum, but a few people who have done this before said that I can bring a sign and that plenty of others have caught up to their minimum from people donating their extra checks and such. I wish I didn't have to, but at least it's something.

I'm not entirely sure how much sense this makes. I have to reset my schedule again and I'm working off of coffee, Adderall (remember kids: You can't spell Adderall without ADD!), and...something. I'm not sure anymore.

I will have my cell phone during the walk and while we arn't aloud to use them while walking, we can use them at the rest/quick stops, so if you want, you can leave a voice mail. In case you forgot I will be walking May 3rd and 4th.

It's major last minuet, but I still have to go shopping for stuff for the tenting that I'll be doing at the wellness village. I should have asked for help sooner. I hate being so stubborn.

I can't think of anything else that has to do with the walk so that means it's time for random self promoting or something!
I wrote something that I suppose could be called a fanfic. It's Saiyuki and involves an original character, but don't worry, it's short (about 600 words) so the horror won't last too long. Also, no pairings! Anyway, I'll leave you with the link and be on my way.
*Snort* almost forgot the link http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4227906/1/Now_or_Always

I wrapped her gifts. I made her cake. I was there for her birthday, unlike Justin, who left early. All that means nothing because I didn't get her a fucking card? Fuck you too mom.
We will never be good enough for her.

Ugh. I don't know whether it was from all the walking or that mini yoga class thing, but my legs are killing me.
Once again I took metro. It's so much better than relying on my dad and having to listen to his music or relying on my mom and not showing up until the event is over. It's also nice finally figuring out metro. It just never made sense until I finally had to do it alone.
So, yea, metro. OMG It was windy yesterday! You know those stupidly big sunglasses that eat up practically half your face? Yea, I had to wear those. It was worth it though. My eyes and nose stopped leaking and that made the walk nicer.
Got to the event. It was a bit like the Great Start party but a bit better. They had the yoga thing. Some of the stuff was weird, some of the stretches were things I already do and I discovered I still don't have any balance when standing on one foot XP It was interesting at least.
Then went to the packing and tenting class. The tents are way easy it seems and packing shouldn't be too much effort for me. It was funny when the guy said that all our clothing (excluding extra shoes and a jacket) should fit in a shopping paper bag. I'm not too sure if he realized how many women were in there.
At some point there was a guy from Reebok. Lots of giggling when he had to talk about sports bras. He totally didn't know much about what he was talking about. I might have found a sports bra that will actually support me though.
Managed to make three origami cats while I was there...because I could.
The trip home was uneventful. That just means I didn't get lost.
I think maybe the yoga thing messed up my knee. I can't figure out why though because everything felt fine yesterday. My legs hurt around my thighs too. Standing up and sitting down is a pain. And I can't let Michael know or even hint about it or suddenly his knee will hurt too, or his legs for some reason. It happens every time someone gets sick or hurt. I can't tell if it's munchhausen or if he's just a hypochondriac.
So it looks like I won't be doing much today unless I get really bored or stubborn. I'll just have to wait til tomorrow to head up to giant and ask if they'll let me set up a table outside to sell stuff.

I walked today as a part of traing for the Avon Walk. I went from my house to the post office even though my mom was going out and could have taken the package for me. It was cold and very windy and it'll take at least 30 minuets to brush the tangles out of my hair but it was a good walk. I let a woman borrow my cell phone and she was kind enough to take one of my buissness cards. I think she made the walk eaiser today.

Also, my lungs hurt T_T Stupid cold

Hey, guess what? I'm not ranting! Sadly though, I am instead begging for money XD. Don't worry, it's not actully going to me. It's for the Avon walking I'm doing. I'll be sending an e-mail to everyone but incase I don't (you know how distracted I am) here's this. I'm posting the link to my avon walk page. I've actully updated it so it's all me (except for the picture...I'll have to work on that)
So yea, totally asking for donations. I've also finally typed up the book list if you want to look at it. All money from sales will go to the walk or to supplies to fundrais the walk.

http://tinyurl.com/26pdnm

If the link above doesn't work, go to avonwalk.org and click the tab that says 'make a donation' There will be a link 'donate to participant' click that and then click the link that says washington DC. Fill in my name (Jamie Cosgrove) and click find then all you have to do is click my name and there's my page *nodnod* Nothing that great, but it gets the point across.

And here are the books. My mom has donated some of hers. I'll try to get this posted to Craigs List too but friends get priority.
Abanes, Richard - The Truth Behind the Da Vinci Code - New - $6.50

Barker, Clive - Coldheart Canyon - Almost New - $7.50

Baldacci, David - Absolute Power - Used - $7.00

Beattie, Melody - Journey to the Heart - Almost New - $14.50

Brite, Poppy Z. -- Twice Bitten - Love in Vein II - Almost New - $7. 50

Cohen, Daniel - Ghostly Terrors - Used - $2.00

Connelly, Michael - The Black Echo - New - $6.50

Cooney, Caroline B. - Freeze Tag - Used - $2.50

Diehl, William - Primal Fear - Poor - $4.00

Graham, Heather - Ghost Walk - Used - $6.50

Grisham, John - A Time To Kill - Fair - $5.50

Harris, Charlaine - Dead Until Dark - Almost New - $7.00

Anne Rice -- The Mayfair Cronicles - $19.50 - Set
The Witching Hour - Almost New - $8.00
Lasher - Used - $6.50
Taltos - Almost New - $8.50

Anne Rice -- Books I-IV of The Vampire Cronicles, Boxset -- $27.00
Interview with the Vampire – New - $7.00
The Vampire Lestat – Almost New - $6.00
The Queen of the Damned – New - $7.00
The Tale of the Body Thief – New - $7.00

EDIT: I finally got a tinyURL so the link should work now!

Somebody kill me. Really. I just single handedly ruined dad's birthday.
Why the hell is it always me screwing up all the time?
And now dad's trying to comfort me as if I havn't upset him too.
I'd have probably pissed of Michael and Justin too if they had been here.

Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I've lost my mind

Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?